Elvis the Bulldog

I hear the Obama girls are looking for a puppy

elvisthebulldog — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 12:44:24 +0000

My people are talking to President-elect Obama’s people. We’ll sort something out. I think I would like to chew up stuff in the Oval Office.

Until I hear back, I think I’ll just sit here and put on my handsome face.

I feel like I’m in Guantanamo Bay

elvisthebulldog — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 11:18:51 +0000

They violate my person. They wash me.

I don’t care what they do! I’ll never tell them my secrets!

Prowling

elvisthebulldog — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 23:49:35 +0000

Quake in fear. Tremble with anticipation. Check status of health insurance.

The delicate art of plastic cup destruction

elvisthebulldog — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 00:13:45 +0000

One of my more lowbrow hobbies is the destruction of destructible objects. Chewing up things allows me to get back in touch with the common dog (for just a while!) and remind myself just how superior I am to all those other moronic mutts out there. I will demonstrate for your viewing pleasure with a plastic cup.

The first step is to carefully drink sip the gin and tonic or whatever your preferred drink is from the cup.

Once that is done, it is time to get down to business.

I usually allow the humans to toy with me a bit. After that I maul them.

Welcome!

elvisthebulldog — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 23:58:20 +0000

As you may realise I am a very busy and important bulldog. Owing to my vast array of intellectual pursuits and extra-curricular activities, I have very little time to devote to the appeasement of my loyal fanbase on this site. Why, I had to cancel my appearance on Oprah to find time to type this pointless message!

From time to time I may deign to post some glamourous photos of my handsome self or relate some highly amusing anecdotes from my life. I have no doubt that your life will be enriched by any exposure to me whatsoever. It is therefore in your best interests to check back regularly!